I wasn’t paying attention to the gifted
Lillie’s as they grew into full bloom:
watery pink and white,
a neat petal trumpet gong forth
with dignity and might.
Their presence mocked me,
shocked as I was to find their
once-ignored beauty.
It’s like when I wasn’t paying attention
in math class when the teacher spoke;
but would later cram and cram for an exam –
only to discover it was not my pathway,
that symbols and algebra didn’t capture my mind
like language and expression;
even though, I can,
from a distance,
see the beauty in a neatly formulated proof.
It must have shaken me however,
this inability to master numbers,
because I find myself,
back again, at the exam table,
in extended dreams at night,
trying to piece together whether x = y or y = x.
I’ve failed at more things than I have succeeded in – music, math, science, a News reading career.
Which makes sense,
when you think about it,
as you can only really succeed in one or two niches in a lifetime –
due to the amount of energy needed
to be spent on each endeavour,
harvesting skillsets and mastering trades.
If my trades are now law and writing,
I may try to twist them into each other –
neatly positioned sentences into affidavits
and legal reasoning into poetry.
I wonder if my attention span
can attend to both areas at once –
a jack of two trades, master of both.
For now,
the Lilly petals are falling.
Soon it will be Spring.
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